


blue eyes won't change their color

by Yanthara



Series: Behind blue eyes [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Trans, M/M, Trans Male Character, Trans!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 19:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6767641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yanthara/pseuds/Yanthara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sorry for my english, It isn't my native language</p>
    </blockquote>





	blue eyes won't change their color

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my english, It isn't my native language

Magnus visited the New Yorker Institute for the first time. He got a call from the Nephilim, they asked him, if he could heal Alec. Of course he wouldn't miss the chance to see him again. When he arrived in the sickroom, he sat down on the bed next to the shadowhunter. Alec was irritated because he see the Warlock in the institute and when he sat down next to him, the warlock noticed that he blushed. He greeted him briefly and looked around in the room. Magnus pulled the blanket aside. Although Alec's torso was mostly covered by a bandage, he tried to hide his torso from Magnus. And the cateyed warlock could not help and smiled over the other boys shyness. Even when he tried to remove the bandage, Alec was not very enthusiastic and tried to resist, but he was too weak. "Do not ...do not look at me.", the shadowhunter brought out brittle, but he let the warlock help him. Magnus thought that Alec had no reason to be ashamed of his body, on the contrary, he found Alec simply stunning. In his eyes, Alec was perfect, he could not get enough of his muscles. He also liked the runes and fine scars that adorned Alecs torso. When the warlock put his hand on Alec's chest to cast a spell, he shrugged and looked at the floor. "Magnus? Don't look at me like this." "Hm? How do I look at you Alexander?" He raised amused an eyebrow. "You examine me. That makes me uncomfortable." The shadowhunter muttered.

Magnus looked astonished at him. "But why? You don't need to by ashamed of your body. Your body is beautiful." He wanted to say more, but Alec shook his head violently. "Do not. Don't say anymore." He said softly, his eyes were sad and even a trace of embarrassment. The warlock looked at him, he liked the fine features in his face. He took the opportunity and put his hand on Alecs cheek and stroked gently over it. Alec looked at him like a startled deer and gradually became red in the face. The Shadowhunters would prefer jumped and fled from the room, but his health state did not allowed this. He could not deal with the near and the care of Magnus. It was not that he did not like him, rather the opposite. But he was afraid to let him close. Above all, he feared the rejection if Magnus knew everything about him. Even Jace did not know anything about this part of his past.

Suddenly both got startled because someone had cleared her throat. Izzy stood for a while at the door and had both observed. "I think you should give my brother some rest." She smiled at her brother, she knew that he needed some help. Magnus stood up and smiled. "Take good care of him!" When he was at the door, he turned once more. "My payment: how about a date with Alexander?." The addressed swallowed, then nodded reluctantly. "But only for tea." The warlock smiled. "This would be fine," he said cheerfully, then he winked at him "I will see you tomorrow."

When Magnus was gone, Alec looked at his sister. "What have I done?" He put his hand to his head and let himself sink into his pillows. "It seems that he likes you. So what should be the problem?" He looked at Izzy. "You know what's the problem." Alec looked at his left arm. "Even with the Iratze the scars are not completely gone. I'm afraid that he don't like me anymore, if he knows the truth."

His sister stroked him on the left arm. "You can not run away from your life Alec! It's your past. You think too much about it."  
" But ... "  
" But nothing! You want him, or not?"  
"Yes, but I'm afraid of rejection. Even Jace and Max do not know it." He sighed. How he hated this part of his life. His past had often made him an outsider. Even in his early age. Alec could not say how glad he was to be raised in the institute in New York and not in Alicante. The Mundies were a bit but more tolerant than the Shadowhunter society in so many things.

When Alec felt better and could walk on crutches, he decided that he should go to the date with Magnus. He wear his usual clothes for the meeting with the warlock. He wanted never consciously play with his charms. Unlike his sister. Isabelle really enjoy to show who she is, that's the reason why she always wearing less clothing. She just loved to portray herself. Izzy sighed when she saw how her brother wanted to go to the date. "Take at least a shirt. It could be black. But not the black old wool sweater! "  
" But ... "  
" No but. You don't need to hide. "  
" Not anymore." Alec looked a bit sad. Izzy hugged her older brother. "Oh Alec. Have a little more confidence. I can imagine that it is hard. But the warlock seems to like you. So this won't matter. It depends on your character and nothing more."

ALEC's POV

I sighed. "I hope you're right." Then I took off my sweater. My eyes got stuck on the mirror. Black runes graced my torso and with the time I get even more muscular. Some scars can also be seen, usually narrow, silvery translucent lines. So that the scars not particularly attracted attention. No one would pay attention to the scar on my upper body and certainly not yet on the scar below the navel. Or? Did Magnus noticed these scars? I hoped that he did not, but Jace never noticed them and he is my Parabatai. Or maybe he just didn't care so much about my body.

I searched a black shirt, on Izzy's suggestion and put it on. Proving I looked in the mirror. Of course, skepticism was in my view, after some hesitation, I was somehow satisfied with my reflection. Although my hair did what it wanted and looked really messy, I tried to get it something smooth, but gave it up.

The view in the mirror did not reassure me, but it felt always like that. Even though I still looked better with the shirt than in the old sweater, I felt uncomfortable. I was nervous. It has not just a date, it was a date with the highest Warlock of Brooklyn. I found the thing with the date already difficult to cope with, warlock or not. I was scared that I will do something wrong.

And, if I be honest, I was afraid of the conversation. It had to take place today. Today or never. Otherwise it is too late. I did not want any bad surprise in the future, and in case that we end up in bed someday. Alone at the imagination I blushed.

I wiped the thought aside and I was on the way with the crutches. Izzy wished me good luck.

NARRATOR POV

Magnus was waiting in front of the institute for Alec. When the Nephilim arrived, he hugged him briefly. "I am glad that you're here for the date." Magnus said cheerfully.  
"You look good, Alexander." Alec blushed and nodded. "Thank you. You too."

Magnus picked a small cafe near the institute for the date, so Alec did not need to walk far with the crutches. The warlock was old school in a way, he held the door open for the young shadowhunter, also he helped him out of the jacket and helped him with the chair. Alec only blushed, when Magnus was this nice.

Alec put the crutches under the table and looked at his hands. When the waitress came and gave them some cards, he was grateful that he had a distraction. He knew what he wanted for tea. Black tea with a shot of milk. Alecs was surprised that Magnus took a simple chamomile tea plus a piece of cake.

The hands of the shadowhunter were sweaty. He wanted to wait until the waitress had brought their orders so that they would not bother him. However, the time until the tea and cake arrived were unbearably long.

When the cups were on their table, he took a deep breath. Alec grabbed a napkin and began to play with it. "Magnus?" The warlock smiled at him gently. "I thought you want to be silent all the time." "No, no. I want to talk to you." He had to swallow. His heart beat him literally up to his neck.

He looked at his hands. "It is, I like you very much. But you should know anything. Before we continue the Date." Alec just talked without hesitation. "You can go if you can not handle the true." Magnus looked at him intently. "Alexander, just say what's on your mind."

The young man exhaled noisily. "I ... Magnus, the scar here." He pointed to his left arm. "And to my chest, you've seen them when you healed me. Thanks again for that. These scars are not from the battle with demons. Not directly. Maybe a fight with my inner demons. There are surgical scars. What I am saying. Well, I was not born as a man." Alec's voice grew quieter and he kept his eyes lowered.

The shadowhunter perceived from the corner of his eye that Magnus jumped. The warlock had so much momentum that his chair tipped over backwards.

Alec flinched at the sound. He don't have the heart to look up and watch Magnus as he leave. But he was more shocked when Magnus stood beside him and pulled the Nephilim into a hug.

"Blue eyes won't change their color." Whispered Magnus and smiled. Alec noticed that he blushed. "Alexander, that does not change you as a person. And my feelings for you." The warlock release Alec bit from the hug just to kiss him.


End file.
